This is the second of four articles from the series Stepping Outside of Your Comfort Zone: 3 Keys to Confidence.
Studies have shown that our posture plays a huge role in how we think and feel. Suffice to say if we can put ourselves in postures that reflect the state we’d like to experience we can have some control over our thoughts and emotions. In this article, we’ll learn to change our posture in order to experience increased levels of confidence – an invaluable tool for personal growth.
In addition to posture changes we’ll also develop a clear mental image of our most confident selves. This mental picture can be called upon in times of uncertainty to boost our self-belief, helping us step outside of our comfort zone when it’s needed most.
Grab a pen and some paper and let’s get started!
A Starting Point
Since you can’t count confidence like you can count calories, I’d like you to draw a copy of the scale below on a piece of paper or better yet, in your journal.
Using this scale, rate yourself on how confident you feel right now, with 1 being ‘not at all confident’ and 10 being ‘supremely confident.’
Draw another scale. Think about a goal or dream you have. Do you feel you confident you could accomplish that? On a scale of 1-10, what’s your rating?
Later in this article we’ll come back to these numbers and see if anything has changed. For now, let’s talk more about posture.
A Confident Posture
Confident body posture consists of a straight spine, a forward chest, the scapulae pulled back, and hands at your side. Did you unconsciously make these small adjustments as you read?
In my younger years, I dealt with negative self-talk and a pattern of self-doubt and anxiety when trying something new. It wasn’t until I experienced the powerful effects that holding yourself in a position of unflinching confidence can have on your mental that things started to change.
Let’s try it now.
Straighten your spine and pull your shoulders back. Your chest should come forward naturally as you pull the shoulder blades together. Don’t obstruct the front of your body, keep your arms at your side and outside of your pockets. The chest and trunk should be clear and open. Take a deep breath in and exhale slowly. Again. And once more. Hold this position for a count of 30.
Notice any changes? In your journal, write a few sentences about how you feel.
Your Most Confident You
One of the number one reasons I used to experience this mental turbulence was because I spent my time focusing on the wrong things. Instead of focusing on what I wanted and where I wanted to be, I focused on all the things that could go wrong. In order to pull you out of these useless thought patterns I’d like you to answer the following questions.
Write down the first few things that come to mind. Don’t think too much.
- How does someone with unlimited confidence sit?
- How does someone with unlimited confidence stand?
- How does someone with unlimited confidence walk?
- How does someone with unlimited confidence breathe?
- How does someone with unlimited confidence feel?
- How does someone with unlimited confidence talk? What kinds of words do they use? Their tempo? Their pitch?
- How does someone with unlimited confidence dress?
- Who does someone with unlimited confidence spend their time with?
- Where does someone with unlimited confidence spend their time?
- What does someone with unlimited confidence spend there time doing?
- What type of media might someone with unlimited confidence take in?
- If you had all the confidence in the world, what 3 things would you do today?
Notice any changes in how you feel after answering these questions? If I asked you to, could you amplify that feeling? Write a few sentences about this. Remember to include notes on any physical, emotional, and mental changes you’re experiencing.
Draw 2 more scales. and rate yourself on the following:
- How confident do you feel?
- How confident do you feel about your goal?
Has your rating gone up? What are your thoughts about that?
Isn’t it amazing how you can change your state with just a few questions? Notice how this state of confidence changes your posture. It has to change. Why? Because the body and mind are inseparable – what you think, you feel and what you feel, you think. Learning to generate thoughts and feelings that are conducive to what you want to experience in life is an incredible addition to your tools for self-mastery.
The Difference Between Having and Wanting
“Feeling is knowing.” – The Iceman, Wim Hoff
Notice how you confident you feel right now. Hold on to that feeling. Amplify it.
Now, let’s try a little exercise.
Instead of feeling confident, allow yourself to want to feel confident. What I mean is, feel like confidence is something you’d want to experience. Try that now.
Feel the difference?
You see, most people go through life wanting change instead of embodying the change they want to experience. In order to change yourself – to change your reality – you have to be what you want to be now. Don’t worry about the future, don’t worry about the past – in this moment can you experience unlimited confidence? The answer of course is yes. When you do that – when you can continue to do that – that’s when things really start to change.
In order to ingrain the experience of unlimited confidence into your being, commit yourself to these exercises for the next 30 days.
I know it seems dumb, but it’s important to change how you see you.
In front of a mirror, change your posture: Spine erect, shoulders back, chest forward. Let your arms relax by your side and smile.
Amplify the feeling and hold it for 60 seconds. You can use a stopwatch to mitigate any anxiety about the time.
From now on let every mirror you see remind you of your ability to take control of how you feel. When you see one, take action and put yourself in state of unlimited confidence.
What better way to start off your day than feeling excellent?
Controlling how you feel in the morning puts you in the position to feel that way throughout the day, this is why stubbing your toe first thing in the morning leads to burning your tongue with your coffee and showing up late to work. It’s a snowball effect. Instead of letting the universe create snowballs of unhappiness, let’s snowball our way towards things we want.
Right when you wake up – before you even get out of bed – place yourself in the physical state of having unlimited confidence.
Spine erect, shoulders back, chest forward. Let your arms relax by your side and smile.
Hold on to it. Amplify it.
Leave a copy of your answers around how it feels like to have unlimited confidence next to your bed. After waking and holding your posture, read through the questions and allow your state to be changed by the answers. Amplify the feeling. This is the start of a new morning routine that will change your life forever.
Another important time to change your posture is when you feel yourself slipping back into your old habits. From now on, whenever you realize you are slouching – chest caved in, head down, and/or hands in front of the chest – change your posture immediately. Ask yourself: How would someone with unlimited confidence sit/stand/walk?
Feel it. Embody it. Amplify it.
Set a Reminder of Your Choosing
Maybe you’ll choose hitting a red light. Maybe it’ll be when you touch a door handle. Perhaps you’ll decide to do it when you’re walking outside. Whatever it may be, pick an everyday activity to act as a reminder to practice changing your state and commit yourself now to making the changes when it occurs.
That’s it! Now you know how to up your levels of confidence (or any other state for that matter) at will!
Remember, just like working out one mental shift isn’t going to change you forever, you’ve got to be consistent about practicing these changes in order to experience lasting results.
Practice these shifts in your state for the next 30 days and you’ll notice TONS of changes in multiple areas of your life.
If you found this walkthrough helpful make sure you sign up for the Transcendence Effect mailing list in order to stay up to date with my upcoming articles on Goal Setting to Grow Your Confidence and Practicing Visualization to Enhance your Self-belief. Also keep an eye out for the Transcendence Effect Confidence Course which I’ll be putting together in the near future.
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